A menu of mush

There comes a time in a teen’s life when her real-world experience and years of learning leads to a certain wisdom. Or in most cases, wisdom teeth.


I’ll subsist on smoothies like this Carrot-Pineapple rendition but without the straw

Enter me. I got my 12-year molars at 15 and now I’m getting my wisdom teeth ten years later than the average person. The two teeth (I only have two) should be relatively easy to remove, and I’m relieved to know that my sore mouth and locked jaw were not some chronic TMJ pain. For two days, I could barely manage to open my mouth: Chewing anything larger (or denser) than a raspberry presented a real problem.

This pre-antibiotic spell gave me a preview into what eating will be like immediately following the extraction. And let me tell you (you being readers under the age of 17), it puts a damper on one’s gastronomic gusto. Here’s my post-surgery meal plan, based on recent experience with lock jaw and suggestions on Internet forums. I will try to stick with my gluten-free detox, but if push comes to shove, some exceptions may be made. The cardinal rule: No straws whatsoever.

  • Applesauce
  • Smoothies
  • Yogurt (get the good bacteria back in action)
  • Savory or sweet millet/quinoa porridge
  • Small berries
  • Hummus by the spoonful
  • Almond butter by the spoonful
  • Soups and broths
  • Scrambled or over-easy eggs
  • Polenta or grits
  • Super-tender fish fillets
  • Jell-O (exactly when else does one eat Jell-O?)
  • Frozen banana “ice cream”
  • Whole Foods’s vegan chocolate pudding

Any other recommendations? I’ve got to stock up the pantry stat.